The writings on the wall
by PrettyRedX
Summary: Set during the Revival series. First fic, so bare with me. Scully listens to a song on the radio. She thinks of him, she can't help it.


It was a rainy day in Washington DC, but Dana Scully didn't care. She was used to it. She lost count of how many rainy days she spent in her little house, with the crackling noise of the fire from the chimney and the warm smell of hot chocolate mixed with cinnamon and a dash of... him.

Him, she couldn't stop herself from thinking about him. It didn't matter what she did, the Universe or God or whoever made sure that she would always think of him.

Dana tried to distract herself in her way to work, although the rain wasn't helping her. She decided to turn on the radio, to see if a song would take her mind off things…

A melody filled with violins and a piano started to play, and a man's beautiful voice started to sing. Singing words that were only for her, making her remember things she didn't want to think of. The song was about her, she was sure of that.

 _ **I've been here before**_

 _ **But always hit the floor**_

 _ **I've spent a lifetime running**_

 _ **And I always get away**_

She did spend a lifetime running… running from the government, running from all the gossip of the FBI, running from little green men, running from her feelings, running from her thoughts… like she is doing right now

 _ **But with you I'm feeling something**_

 _ **That makes me want to stay**_

Suddenly, the memory of their first day together came into her head. It was true; despite the "Spooky" rumors and the constant supervision from her superiors… she wanted to stay. And that's what she did

 _ **I'm prepared for this**_

 _ **I never shoot to miss**_

She stayed because she wanted to prove that she wasn't a scared little girl. She wanted to prove that she knew what she was doing, that it didn't matter that she was a girl because she would get the job done. Even with the FBI's most unwanted man.

 _ **But I feel like a storm is coming**_

 _ **If I'm gonna make it through the day**_

The lyric of the song brought her back from the past. It seemed like a storm was coming and she couldn't help but to think of him again. Of how much she wanted to spend that storm with him.

 _ **There is no more use in running**_

Maybe the man in the song was right. Maybe it was time to stop running away from him

 _ **This is something I gotta face**_

She wasn't sure that she wanted to face that, she wasn't so sure about that conversation. She wasn't sure if he still wanted her. She was afraid.

 _ **If I risk it all**_

 _ **Could you break my fall?**_

 _If_? She _risked_ it all. No "Ifs". It was a fact. She risked her reputation, she risked her job, her medical career, she risked her family, she risked herself… only 'cause she knew she would never fall; because he would always catch her, no matter where she was. She risked it all for him, and she would do it again

 _ **How do I live? How do I breathe?**_

 _ **When you're not here I'm suffocating**_

She didn't know how. She didn't know how she was living… how she was breathing without him. And without William… Oh my god, William

 _ **I want o feel love, run through my blood**_

 _ **Tell me is this where I give it all up?**_

Why? Why did she give it all up? Why did she have to give him up? She often forgot the reasons; she could only remember his big blue eyes, her eyes.

 _ **For you I have to risk it all**_

' _ **Cause the writing's on the wall**_

She would do anything for William, she would love and kill for him. Whatever it took to make him safe. She would risk it all again.

 _ **A million shards of glass**_

 _ **That haunt me from my past**_

Like always…like today. Forever haunted from her past

 _ **As the stars begin to gather**_

 _ **And the light begins to fade**_

 _ **When all hope begins to shatter**_

 _ **Know that I won't be afraid**_

The stars… all the answers were there, weren't they? The "Truth"… his truth, her truth. The reason of her misery, of her life; the reason why she was left barren and without her son. She remembered the light, that bright light in that horrible moment where her life was decided for her. She remembered feeling lonely and scared like she had never felt before. She really thought she was going to die. Then she remembered the lake and the amazing sensation of peace that she felt, she was ready to go, until she heard him. She was not sure of what he said, but she was sure that it was his voice. His soft, deep, peaceful voice. She wasn't afraid anymore, so she opened her eyes.

 _ **If I risk it all**_

 _ **Could you break my fall?**_

 _ **How do I live? How do I breathe?**_

 _ **When you're not here I'm suffocating**_

 _ **I want to feel love, run through my blood**_

 _ **Tell me is this where I give it all up?**_

 _ **For you, I have to risk it all**_

 _ **Cause the writings on the wall**_

She parked her car and went down to the elevator, to the basement. She kept thinking about that song. It was still playing in her head, she couldn't help but to feel absurdly related to the lyrics

 _ **How do I live? How do I breathe?**_

 _ **When you're not here I'm suffocating**_

She really was suffocating, she couldn't take it anymore. There was nothing left to lose, she had risked it all before and they were both still alive

 _ **I want to feel love, run through my blood**_

And frankly, she never stopped loving him and she was tired of pretending that she did. She missed his kisses, the sunflower seed taste of his lips, the feel of his hands on her hips. She missed the excitement that he made her feel every time he touched her.

 _ **Tell me is this where I give it all up?**_

 _ **For you, I have to risk it all**_

She was going to do it. The universe or God did have message for her today, and she listened. There it was, the writing on the wall, what started it all. "I want to believe"

She really wanted to believe that it would work out this time. Not the aliens and the conspiracy, she didn't want to believe in that, she didn't care about that. She wanted to believe in him, she wanted to believe in her son, she wanted to believe that it was still possible.

She decided to do it, she would take the chance. She was going to talk to him, that song had opened her eyes. She would risk it all again, she wanted to stay, she wanted to feel love. And she loved him -oh how she loved him- it was only logical. She kept walking until she found their office, her heart was beating like crazy and she didn't realize that she was crying, tears of sadness and tears of joy. She didn't care; she finally knew what she wanted

She opened the door to the office. The writing on the wall talked to her once more: "I want to believe". She looked down and found him immersed in his beloved X Files, looking tired and handsome. He didn't hear her come in and she decided to let him know that she was there; not only for today, but for every day for the rest of her life. She said the only thing she could think of, she used their own unique way of communication so that he would understand every word she was going to say today.

"Hey Mulder, It's me" She said in the most meaningful way she could think of. He noticed it, because he looked up and gazed at her, like he always did before.

 _ **Cause the writings on the wall**_

The writings on the wall were the only witness of what happened later and Dana Scully was happy about that.

 _ **The writings on the wall**_


End file.
